How the Copper Monster bit into your budget and raised your phone bill

Once upon a time, Ma and Pa Bell weaved their magic to connect people through landline telephones. To help make sure phone calls were connected, they created little creatures with bodies made of copper wires and big googly eyes that let them work through the night. These copper creatures would receive wings when a call was completed, allowing them to connect more calls around the country and, eventually, the world.

Cooper the connector

One of them was named Cooper. He liked climbing telephone poles with his brothers and sisters, connecting calls from grandparents to grandchildren and wondering why humans threw shoes onto telephone wires.

Then, Cooper noticed things were changing. Humans were pulling little rectangular devices from their pockets and talking into them instead of using their landline phones. Ma and Pa Bell stopped coming around to check on how many calls he and his siblings connected. Other copper creatures stopped receiving their copper wings, and—one by one—they started to leave.

Rise of the Copper Monster

Cooper was soon left to connect the calls all by his lonesome. Angry and bitter, he started taking his revenge. For starters, he raised monthly landline rates so he could gobble up cash.

And then, when he connected grandchildren and grandparents, he would snack on the copper telephone wires, leaving Grammy and Gramps unable to clearly hear their grandchildren’s stories. When Cooper connected an international call, he would make sure the delay was as long as possible so that he could take a nap.

Every once in a while, angry people would contact Cooper and ask him why he was doing this. “Why did you eat up my budget?,” one person had asked. Cooper would simply say it was the cost of making sure all the calls stayed connected. “There’s nothing I can do, my hands are simply tied,” he would smile.

“You’re a monster!” another one of the angry people would yell at him.

Cooper simply ignored them and kept eating their budgets and degrading their calls. In some cases, Cooper would point out that there was nothing they could do, because no one else offered home phone service that worked for emergency calls to 911. The copper guardian of connecting people with their loved ones had indeed become a copper monster.

What Cooper didn’t know is there was someone watching his every move.

Vanquish the Copper Monster

One day, a frustrated grandfather couldn’t clearly hear his children sing Happy Birthday or understand their hints about the birthday present they had sent him.

When they were done talking, Cooper appeared to the grandfather and demanded to gobble up his budget. He was just about to open his wallet when he felt a gentle presence on his shoulder.

“Psst,” a soft, calming voice whispered. “You don’t need to do that!”

“What was that!?” the man said, startled. Cooper, too, looked on in confusion.

“I’m Telo, your digital phone service angel, and you don’t need to let him gobble up your phone budget any longer!”

“That sounds too good to be true, Telo!” the grandfather replied.

“Maybe so, but good will always triumph over evil. Let me help you,” Telo said. “All you have to do is think of your favorite phone call, relax and say the magic word: Ooma.”

The grandfather closed his eyes, took a deep breath and let the word flow from his lips. “Ooooma.”

“No!” Cooper yelled. In a flash, Cooper was sucked through the nearest phone jack, never to return.

All around the country, as people said the magic word, they vanquished Cooper the Copper Monster and stopped letting their bloated phone bills gobble their budgets up.

You too can make your high landline phone bills go away by switching to Ooma for reliable, affordable home phone with address-based Enhanced 911 service. Call us at (877) 621-0515 or visit ooma.com to find out how.